Practicing Gratitude

 

 

I was in a party supply store, and I had perhaps the biggest spiritual epiphany I’ve ever experienced in my life. 

Let me explain.

A good friend of mine was getting married, and I was helping her Matron of Honor, Jessie, plan the shower. Jessie and I had never met, but got along famously, as friends of good friends tend to do. The day we met for party supply shopping she brought along her beautiful daughter, Reyna.  Reyna was only 4 or 5 years old at the time, but I was so impressed at how patient she was as Jessie and I strolled the store, discussing the pros and cons of various colors and patterns, details so boring to a small child.  Almost an hour later, we made our way to the register, baskets full of cheerfully colored napkins, cups, and sparkly center pieces.

This register, like most, offered a tempting assortment of candy placed at perfect impulse height across three feet of shelves. Reyna noticed immediately and began to beg. Jessie decided to allow Reyna a bag of Skittles as reward for her patient behavior that afternoon. 

Reyna squirmed in delight straining her arm outward as Jessie opened the bag of Skittles and thoughtfully poured three pieces into her open hand, then carefully folded the bag and placed it in her purse for safe keeping.

Reyna lost her mind with despair.

She wanted all of the Skittles.  All of the Skittles RIGHT NOW!  She cried so hard that she forgot about the three pieces of candy her Mom had given to her; the sole focus of her rage was focused on getting the bag of candy she could not have. 

Now, had she eaten her three pieces, her Mom probably would have given her a few more, mindful to give her plenty of reward, but not so much that she would be sick. Reyna would have had plenty!

Reyna never got to eat her candy that day. It fell to the floor in the midst of her tantrum, long forgotten amongst the fury and tears. 

That’s when it happened. I was completely taken off guard with my epiphany:  I was Reyna. 

The Skittles were all of my blessings: my wonderful friends, my cozy apartment, my loving family, and on and on and on. I was so blessed in my life but I was too impatient to enjoy it.  My focus was on what I could not have: a relationship, more income, more, more, more.

The truth is, I was blessed with all that could fit in my hand.  Had I been given any more, it would not have fit into my small hand. I would have dropped them or eaten them too quickly to enjoy them.

“Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” 1 Thessalonians 5:18

God has the bag.  He, in His infinite wisdom, doles out blessings when we need them because He knows what is best for us.  He knows how much we can handle and when it is too much. 

That day I said a prayer of thanks for everything I’d been given and I promised that each day I would take the time to focus on what I have been given.  And I promised to trust that I will be given more when it is the right time.

It has been 15 years since Jessie, Reyna and I went to a party store.  I would love to tell you that my heart was always filled with gratitude after that day.  The practice of gratitude does not come naturally in our culture these days, and I still find myself struggling on occasion to remember all of the Skittles in my hands.

Our journeys are never perfect.  They are all full of lessons learned and opportunities to grow as people.  Through our struggles, we are never alone.  If we remember to look at our open hands, we will always see them full of the sweetness of life.